“Do you love me?’ asked Nicole.
“Yes. Like I love nobody else. Like I never knew I could love anyone,” replied Davis.
Under a cloudy sky, overseeing a green valley, Nicole and Davis sat down enjoying their date at a nature scenic spot the way Davis planned it. Nicole asked him to surprise her with the first date.
“I wonder how someone can love at first sight. How did you know that it is love?” asked Nicole.
“It was not about love. It is more about attraction. An attraction that goes beyond infatuation. An attraction that can make you feel so many more emotions than a crush. I have had so many crushes before. I have had so many infatuations before. I just wanted to do something to those girls. I wanted them badly. But, when I first saw you, I could sense a beautiful future. In a moment, I could see a beautiful tomorrow. I could see an awesome life created by both of us. I could see a wonderful family. I could sense a wonderful journey. I thought only about happiness, peace, laughter, and prosperity. Love and lust were the last things on my mind. From this feeling, I knew that it is love that happened to me. I wanted to love you….love you forever…that’s how I knew it was love,” explained Davis.
Nicole looked into his eyes and did not have any words to express. It was a moment of peace for her, too. She was not excited. She was not happy. She was at peace with herself. She said, “My parents loved me more than anything. I lost them in an accident five years ago. I have had so many friends and relatives who take care of me after that. I did not feel this much love from anyone after my parents. Thanks for the love. Thanks for the peace. I was angry on God for taking my loved ones away from me. Now, I thank him so much for giving me so much love in one person. Do I deserve it? Are things going to be so good?” asked Nicole with a doubtful expression on her face.
“I don’t know why you think you don’t deserve so much love. You deserve all the love in the world. You deserve it all, not because you are so beautiful. You deserve it because you know love and can recognize love when it comes to you. And, no one is sure about tomorrow. Hope is the only reason that keeps us alive. We need to trust in God and be hopeful about having a bad tomorrow. There is no other way in which we can go ahead with life. When you are entering in a new relationship, it’s only hope that keeps you going forward, until love blossoms and passion overcomes all the fears, ” said Davis.
“For a moment, let us understand that there are so many other things in life that matter. You are looking forward for a wonderful future. And, I have an affliction that will ensure enough bickering always. Do you really know about me? Did you even try to know about me? Just the way corporations hire people, you should learn to know everything about a person before falling in love with that person,” said a cautious Nicole.
“I wish love were that simple. I wish I could handle things that way. Even if I did follow that route, I wonder if the magic really existed then. I know a little about you. And, I thought we are compatible to a great extent. I did some amount of research before proposing to you and taking things forward. You are a well educated person who lives in the suburbs with friends. Your hobbies include listening to rock music and attending parties. Did I miss anything?” asked Davis.
“Let’s stop beating around the bush. Do you know that I stay with friends? But, not a single girl has stayed with me for more than three months. Do you know why? Did you even bother to check? I have trust issues. I have serious trust issues. I have an affliction called Paranoid Personality Disorder. And, it is not some fancy word that I coined to avoid getting into relationships or justify my crazy nature. My parents found that I have this disorder when I was thirteen. I have been going through psychotherapy sessions since then. If you did some background check, it would have been found that I visit Sheila aunt almost twice every week. To people and friends, I tell that she is my relative and help her with babysitting. But, the fact remains is that I undergo psychotherapy sessions with her,” said Nicole.
“All of us have some or the other personality disorder. I’m sure we both can work together to handle it, ” said Davis.
“You’re not getting it. Alright. Listen. I do not trust people. I doubt their motives. I doubt their intentions. I always feel someone is trying to exploit me. I always feel someone is two-timing. In one of my earlier relationships, I doubted the fidelity of the guy to such an extent that I stalked him and gave him nightmares. He broke up with me. I came to know later that I doubted him unnecessarily without any basis. This repeated in the same or other forms in most of my relationships. So, you think we can handle this? I cannot trust you. I’m able to talk to you all this because we are not yet in a relationship or not living together. Things will change suddenly the moment you enter into my daily life,” said Nicole.
“I really cannot understand the depth of your problem at this moment. But, I want to give my full heart to help you deal with it. I want to do everything I can to help you come out it. I would want to do anything to make you happy. I’m sure there should be some way out. Like, I had serious anger issues. I visited a shrink a couple of times and told him about my anger. Little amount of counseling really helped me. In your case, I can come with you and we can try therapy together to cement the bond of our relationship,” said Davis with hope glimmering in his eyes.
“That can be possible. But, we have talking only about one side of the problem. We did not talk about you yet. You said that you visited shrink twice. Didn’t the shrink tell you that you have Intermittent Explosive Disorder? He told you. And, you chose to ignore it. Despite leaving three jobs in a span of one year due to sudden anger outbursts, you are not ready to accept your personality disorder. Well, that is your problem if you cannot accept it. But, imagine we get married, or try to live together. I doubt your integrity without any reason. You will get angry suddenly and we fight. We have to break up. Why do you want to go through all that?” asked Nicole.
“How did you know about that? One of the shrinks told that I might have something like that. Nobody validated it yet. How can you come to a conclusion?” asked Davis.
“First, the world is well connected these days, thanks to the media and social networks. My aunt got in touch with your shrink. We discussed your patient history and found that there are recurring patterns of sudden outbursts of anger. You lied to your shrink that you were not so angry in your childhood. It is the corporate world and its politics that made you so angry. But, your parents and elder brother feel otherwise. They always remember you as an angry and sulking kid. You have had anger issues since childhood. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings now. But, we need to be extremely practical before getting into a relationship. I did my research and the results really made me feel sad. So, let us call it quits already before the situation worsens,” said Nicole.
Nicole could notice that Davis started becoming angry. He got up angrily and left the place without uttering another word.
Davis tried to reach Nicole after a couple of days but she ignored his calls. Finally, Davis went to Nicole’s aunt’s place and explained her the situation and asked her to determine a solution for this problem professionally.
“We can give it a try. We normally advise people and help them get out of their problems. But, we do not deal with something peculiar like this. We need to try couple psychotherapy for both of you before we even determine a solution to the compatibility problem, ” said Aunt Sheila.
Nicole and Davis tried couple sessions for almost one year and got married. They got separated after one year. However, Davis repented his mistake and tried to get back to her. They got married again after two years. They had two kids after this second attempt at marriage. While everyone thought that kids could change the relationship, Nicole and Davis broke up and married at least four times after that.